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Aurélie Dupont and Mathieu Ganio.
Photo by Julieta Cervantes for the New York Times.
The Willis Shirt. By Cloud & Victory.

The Cliff’s Notes version of popular ballets.

Thanks to a late night discussion about ballet plots (or the lack thereof), here are the storylines of some well-known ballets, summarised.

Swan Lake

  • Became a swan.
  • Found out Natalie Portman was my evil twin.
  • (It was perfect.)

Giselle

  • Wore a pretty blue dress.
  • Died from crazy.
  • Graveyard dance parties 4 EVA.

Romeo & Juliet (but with more dance and zero Shakespeare!)

  • Had underage sex.
  • Pretended to die.
  • Then really died.

Don Quixote

  • Some old dude came along and stole my thunder.
  • Whatev.